Drew Gilpin Faust Fan Club

Blue and gray in the blood red clay

2011-02-17T12:23:00.005-05:00

War is not glorious--it is a hideous waste. Historians would do well to stop trying to give "meaning" to war. DGF and Ed Ayers are doing their part to strip war of romance. The fan club's collection of Civil War songs supports their efforts. We do not include anthems or marching songs: no "Dixie, " no "Battle Hymn."

Our collection is about death and regret, longing and loss. More than half a million boys and men died in the war, the equivalent of six million souls in terms of today's population of the U.S. Any Southerner who spends time on ancestry dot com sees death dates in the 1860s of great great great grandfathers, uncles, and male cousins many times removed. It is a wonder any of us are here at all.

People are still writing Civil War songs. Here is perhaps the newest, one that silenced an entire mini-van of DGF fans when it came on the radio a few weeks ago. It is by Shawn Mullins, a Georgia man whose work usually takes on subjects like Tinsel Town, dying auto towns, and lost love. He grew up near Catoosa County, and he channels a soldier destroyed by the killing he has done in a battle there. We don't know if he wore Blue or Gray, and we don't care.

Catoosa County

I turned 17 spring of 1861, and I killed 20 men before I turned 21
20 holes in 20 men 20 holes they’s buried in
buried where they lay in the cold red clay of Catoosa County.

I can hear the screaming I can smell black powder burning
Cannon balls flying and Gatling guns a turning
A thousand souls a thousand men a thousand holes they’s buried in
shallow graves in the cold hard clay of Catoosa County.

And the blue and the gray paint the colors of the lie
And the old men find a way to send the young men off to die
If I could I would place a hundred billion dollar bounty
On the hate that makes a war that digs the graves of Catoosa County.

Night falling on the hills and the cold moon comes up shining
And I can hear the whippoorwill and the coyotes go to whining
And all the souls of all the men roll in the holes they’s buried in
Blue and gray in the blood red clay of Catoosa County

And the blue and the gray are the colors of the lies
And it’s true you can pray but even God ain’t saying why
If I could I would place a hundred billion dollar bounty
On the hate that makes the wars that digs the graves of Catoosa County.

The power of song

2011-01-18T16:12:00.004-05:00

To commemorate the sesquicentennial of the Civil War, the fan club has been collecting songs about the War and dusting off our fiddles, guitars, mandolins, and upright bass. (No we did not allow one member to contribute instead a washtub bass. We have our standards.)
We focus on music that laments the waste of war, in keeping with DGF's most recent book, The Republic of Death. Drew has urged writers about war to acknowledge the ability of war to provide meaning and sense of agency to ordinary life. In recognizing that power we might begin to over come it, she has said more eloquently.
What better song to start with than Blue-Eyed Boston Boy. It tells a story has surely happened countless ways too many times over, in this war and in others. The author is unknown and the imagery rich: "the Rebels with shot and shell Plowed furrows of death in the toiling ranks..."

He was just a blue eyed Boston boy his voice was low with pain
I'll do your bidding, comrade mine if you will do the same
But if you ride on and I should fall you'll do as much for me
My mother at home is awaiting the news so write to her tenderly
She's waiting at home like a patient saint her pale face filled with woe
Her heart will be broken when I am dead I'll see her face no more
Just then the order came to charge for a moment hand touched hand
They answered aye and on they rode that brave and devoted band
Straight way was the course to the top of the hill and the Rebels with shot and shell
Plowed furrows of death in the toiling ranks and guarded them as they fell
There soon came a horrible dying sound from the heights they could not gain
And those that doom and death had spared rode slowly back again
But among the dead at the top of the hill lay the boy with the golden hair
And the tall dark man who rode by his side lay still beside him there
There was none to write to his blue-eyed girl the words her lover had said
While a mother at home is awaiting her son she'll only find he's dead
While mother at home is awaiting her son she'll only find he's dead

This is the best version, if you ignore the ambient noise and walking around. Looks kind of like the fan club band only different!

No Help for Us

2010-07-13T13:27:00.004-04:00

A blog devoted to celebrating the Southern lady cannot ignore The Help, as much as it would like to.

Our problem with The Help is that any time a white lady describes the Jane Crow experience she is aggrandizing herself. She is showing how fine she is to recognize how benighted she once was and now isn't. That sort of self regard is unseemly. The only respectable position on the subject for the white lady is sitting down and being quiet for about, oh, 200 or 300 years. It's time for the non-white ladies to speak.

And the last we will say, in regards to The Help, is that its immense popularity and tsunami of praise (largely from white ladies, we can't help but note) embarrass us to death. And that is all that we have to say.

Beyond Polyester

2010-06-22T10:47:00.004-04:00

DGF and I have been fighting off a Southern invader ever since it showed its evil face in the spring. It seems perhaps at last we will prevail--Northern technology once again overcoming sheer cussedness.

Our foe: Poison Ivy. A vine grew up one of the dear maples of Elmwood, so high it nearly disappeared among the branches and new leaves. First, with the hatchet we cut the vine just above shoulder height. Within days the leaves above the cut withered and died. Then, wearing gloves we had bought in a rainbow of colors to protect our hands from Miss Clairol, we applied herbicide. We did not mess around with "organic."

Weekly we painted the leaves, and as the painted ones wilted and curled, new bright greenish yellow baby leaves appeared. But we marched on, and this weekend we found no new poison baby leaves.

Miss Grimke: We can certainly blame global warming for Col. Poison Ivy. Can we also blame BP? For not finding alternative sources, say, forty years ago.

DGF: Of course. But when you get right down to it, we have only ourselves to blame.

Miss Grimke: Perhaps but we can certainly not blame Jimmy Carter.

DGF: He did what he could.

Miss Grimke: Which was not enough.

DGF: We get the leaders we deserve.

Miss Grimke: Do you really believe that?

DGF: Well, look at me.

Miss Grimke: I see you are wearing that petroleum-based fiber, which is great for bushwhacking at Elmwood.

DGF: This is going to be painful on so many levels.

Forget the dead white guy writer

2010-01-29T17:18:00.004-05:00

We in the fan club think J.D. Salinger wrote a few good stories(not including Catcher in the Rye, which has not stood the test of time—ask anyone under 20!) and then coasted for the rest of his life. Nice job if you can get it! He could have been as over-rated as John Updike if he’d written more.

We have not been successful in recruiting DGF to trash JDS so we’ll move on to something much more interesting.

Susie Boyt has agreed to join the fan club! We are not sure which is more astonishing—that she agreed or that we were bold enough to ask her! Perhaps now we’ll summon the nerve to invite Geraldine Brooks.

To say Susie Boyt writes about fashion is like saying William Faulkner wrote about farming. She ventures broad and deep through philosophy and psychology. Her ethical and decorating sensibilities are finely tuned. She can make it perfectly clear how a particular dress, worn in a particular way to a particular occasion, can be a deeply moral act.

We have long been fans of hers, reading her columns aloud to one another at meetings. But a recent one of hers, appearing after we’d been made furious by valances, sent us into an ecstasy of identification. You see, Susie Boyt is embarrassed by pelmets (look it up). http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/976b0a58-cfe0-11de-a36d-00144feabdc0.html

SB is obsessed with Judy Garland and Henry James. She said the most wonderful thing about her HJ obsession in her autobiography: “The question that intrigued me in terms of both love and work was this: how can one be good and live fully in the world without taking on all any of the taint that the word 'worldly' carries.”

We are honoured to have Susie Boyt as a member of the club and to make her an honorary Southern Lady.

Wake up people!

2010-01-20T18:03:00.005-05:00

The fan club, frustrated by the hostile tone of public discourse, has decided to throw in the towel and enter the fray.

We are taking as our model the Wide-Awakes, recruiting people to dress in capes and caps, light torches, and march solemnly in formation through the streets of Cambridge at all hours of the night.

Just as the Wide-Awakes provided moral support and inspiration to an embattled and progressive leader, so shall we support dear Drew Gilpin Faust. Join us! Everyone looks good by fire light!

(I can see her face on the banner but wonder about the eagle.)

Ladies who skate

2010-01-19T11:31:00.003-05:00

DGF did not pick up on our suggestion to move the Fogg to Allston, but we can’t complain that the skating rink was a bad idea.

Ice skating is an alien activity to southern ladies, but those of us transplanted north find it a delightful way to keep our figures and an excuse to wear cute outfits. I won’t say that we went skating with Drewdie, but I will say that she continues to demonstrate her ability to balance on a fine edge without losing her poise.

Over a few mugs of mulled wine after some mildly strenuous activity involving spinning and gliding, DGF and I dissected some of the finer points of winter footwear.

Miss Grimke: How many pairs of boots should a lady own when she lives up north?

DGF: One.

Miss Grimke: Last week I wore my black Bean duck boots, my two-tone La Canadiennes with the sheepskin lining, my brown Rockport hikers, and my shiny back tight-calved high-heeled dominatrixs. And that was on Tuesday.

DGF: I find that my wellies suffice for all occasions.

Miss Grimke: That’s because the world comes to you, and you have a “car,” as they say.

DGF: I need boots to check on the goats and rearrange the Christmas tree branches protecting the perennials.

Miss Grimke: You also need them to wade through the mess that your “critics” emit.

DGF: I find that a sense of humor makes quick work of that.

Looking ahead

2010-01-11T16:34:00.003-05:00

In the first working week of the new decade we are looking forward, only. Looking back gives us a crick in the neck. What does the future hold?
To answer that question, the fan club convened in a warm cozy spot quite unlike the Elmwood garret. We curled up on the persian rug in front of the fire with the ouija board. Fortified with mulled wine, made from an old family recipe, we asked the following questions and received the following answers.

Q: Are over-the-knee boots as warm as they look and will they be worn by a certain southern lady of a certain age?
A: No.

Q: Will anyone have a job in June?
A: A modest fiscal stimulus focused on aid to the states would be a helpful insurance policy against a further weakning in the economy.

Q: Hinc lucem e pocula sacra?
A: Dum spiro spero.

Q: Will Richard Bradley stop whinging about DFG's not being up to the task, as if he weren't some kind of pretentious ignorant name-dropping pipsqueak?
A: No.

Q: Do the people who criticize DGF for not fixing over night a series of horrendous problems she inherented have a lot in common with the idiots who think Potus should have saved the world by now?
A: Yes.

Q: Will southern ladies of a certain age be asked if they are ticklish before they are carefully patted down by ladies of the homeland security?
A: Yes

Q: Is it really stupid that the arch villain in Avatar has a southern accent?
A: Yes

Q: Will Harvard go broke?
A: The top 10 US endowments have outperformed the MSCI global index by 5.2 per cent over the past 20 years. For each $1 invested, there has been an incremental $5 gain.

Q: What about Uggs for southern ladies?
A: No.

Q: When will it start getting warm again?
A: June 29.

The importance of looks

2009-12-03T15:09:00.005-05:00

The fan club is so so depressed. Our beloved Gloria Steinem is actually against the Botax. She says ladies need to shoot poison into their heads to look younger. To save ourselves from hyperventilating we called up Drew, knowing her wise eloquence would reassure us.

Miss Grimke: What are your latest thoughts on the importance of looks?

DGF: Funny you should ask. I know I'm overdue a new prescription for my reading glasses.

Miss Grimke: I don't mean looking out. I mean looking in. Have you been rethinking your look?

DGF: Well I have been letting my hair grow out a bit. I was getting tired of going to the hairdresser's so often.

Miss Grimke: Are you sure you don't mean the barber? I happen to know when a lady is looking for change she cuts off her hair. When she has settled into her new sphere, she lets it grow.

DGF: But change is neither immediate nor total. For each moment of exhilarating transformation there are a thousand daily realities, traveling a slower road, far behind our ideals.

Miss Grimke: Did you ever imagine Ms. Steinem would have represented one of those thousands of realities traveling a slower road, far behind our ideals?

DGF: Never never never. And no I do not go to the barber.

Miss Grimke: You know what I think?

DGF: I think Ms. Steinem is overdue for a haircut.

The beer truth

2009-10-30T15:13:00.006-04:00

Our dear Dr. Faust is of course heart-broken over the situation in Allston. It’s as if we had started to renovate, pulled down the walls, put up blue plastic tarps to keep out the elements, and then had to stop construction because our bank pulled the plug. I’m sure that has happened to many of us. Allston is just on a much much much larger scale. The blue tarps are flapping. The squirrels are finding their way into the kitchen. It is a sad sad mess. Drewdie is doing her best to shore things up.

We recently took a field trip to Deep Ellum, the hippest bar in Allston if not all of the eastern seaboard to scope out the scene on the ground while kicking back a few pints.

For starters Miss Grimke ordered 2 pretzels & beer cheese, and Drew could not resist the hot damn wings.

It was when we actually looked at the beer selections that the trouble began.

Miss Grimke: What no BL Lime!?

DGF: Look at this. A beer called Ruination. What's up with that?

Miss Grimke: It gets worse. Leather Lips. Flying Dog Doggystyle.

DGF: Duck Duck Gooze is kind of cute.

Miss Grimke: There is something so not right about the whole microbrew naming thing. Or even the whole microbrew thing.

DGF: As a historian, I have to agree with you. You know I'm a fiend for beer, but there's all this faux artsy stuff that's grown up around it, largely among ladies and gentlemen who wouldn't be caught dead in the Fogg.

Miss Grimke: You mean the Gardner.

DGF: Beer peddlers are trying to recover some delightful better past that never really existed, when women and men crafted things of value with their own hands. These beers are actually living a lie. Also they are expensive, so you are paying through the nose for something that is meant to take you back to a better place that never was. They want to keep us from facing the reality that we live in a time when the most important and valuable things are so amorphous they fly around the world at the speed of light.

Miss Grimke: You can't taste Google.

DGF: But you can get high on it.

Miss Grimke: I'll drink to that.

DGF: But what?

We missed Fashion Week. Or did we?

2009-10-08T11:19:00.002-04:00

Miss Grimke: Boston has a Fashion Week.
DGF: No way.
Miss Grimke: Way.
DGF: How could I have missed that?!
Miss Grimke: You were busy?
DGF: Yes, that's it.
Miss Grimke: I was looking at people walking down Newbury Street a few years back and I noticed that every single woman, old, young, fat thin, in between, all were wearing jeans, boot-cut jeans. Tops were different, that's all. And some wore heels and some wore clogs or boots and a few wore running shoes or something.
DGF: Amazing.
Miss Grimke: So what do you think I did?
DGF: Do tell.
Miss Grimke: I went straight over to Eddie Bauer and bought me some boot-cut jeans. Whew. That was close. I nearly walked down Newbury Street like some sort of freak.
DGF: I'm glad Cambridge is not so conservative.
Miss Grimke: Lucky you.

The Universe's Crisis of Stupidity

2009-09-06T17:31:00.004-04:00

The fan club is after me to chastise Drewdie for writing such a boring essay in the NYT Book Review. The fan club is made up of my close personal friends, but really we cannot teach by scolding. We must teach by example. So I am going to write the essay as Drewdie should have written it. Post wit, to wit, ipso facto, and et cetera, dum spiro spero, following:

As my close personal friend Louie 'Lou-eye' Gates definitely did not say, 'I'll see yo mama outside.'

Don't be stupid! The world economic crisis and the election of Barack Obama does not change the fact that you have to be stupid not to see how important universities, both public and private, are. People go to universities to think and learn, and I don't care how smart you are, you can always benefit from thinking and learning.

So don't be stupid! Ask us to help solve the important problems of the day--from health care delivery to climate change to economic recovery. We are constantly thinking about things and doing research. Even when you ask us to do things impossible to do this side of science fiction, we manage to rise, almost nearly, to the challenge.

Educate the elite? Sure, we'll do that. Give opportunities to the downtrodden? No problemo! Manage our vast amounts of money so that it grows and grows and grows so tall we can climb up to the giant's castle in the clouds and steal the magic hen that lays golden eggs? We did that! A little problem arose when the giant got mad and came after us but we are working on it!

But ladies and gentlemen, listen up! We can do nearly everything but you have to trust us and let us fool around, experiment, get messy! Tolerate ambiguity! Embrace complexity! The most difficult problems are often solved when someone is working on something else entirely!

That's why we need English majors, and history professors, and other entities that don't have measurable ROI. They stir the pot. Even more obviously you can't follow people around with stop-watches and those little coin counters the ladies who sold you popcorn at the drive-in movies wear around their waists if you want the stew to stay rich enough to bubble up solutions to the problems of the present and future.

I am embarrassed that some of the ideas that are, well, stupid--like the market "knows" how much something is worth--came out of universities. I don't think English majors or history majors ever bought that crap, do you? Do you have any idea how many English majors and history majors are on Wall Street? Do you think that is not part of the problem?

Higher education is about not being stupid. You can't put a price on that.

August at home

2009-08-19T08:31:00.002-04:00

While Drew has some well-deserved down time at a top secret location known only to yours truly, the fan club has been doing some long-needed updates at Elmwood, our part-time club house.

Is it possible to hate valances with a passion? If so, we do. Just because a house is old doesn't mean the windows have to dress up like Victorian ladies. What is the point of valances? What is the point of draperies, other than as back-up fabric for down-at-their heels Southern ladies? Ah, yes, Elmwood needs draperies to mute the noise from Route 2. We are keeping them on that side of the house. But elsewhere! Nudity comes to the windows of Elmwood!

We hope DGF likes.

Les derrierres sont nous!

2009-07-29T09:47:00.005-04:00

Ladies are scrutinized, pardon my French, sometimes like slabs of beef. One arrow points to a dainty hand, another to a creamy or chocolately shoulder, another to her haunch. Such was the lot of the young Brazilian lady who happened to ascend some steps in what could have been the gaze of POTUS et M. Sarkozy. It was only after the MSM had had its way with her that we saw her face and learned of her many accomplishments. Does the MSM have the mentality of a 10-year-old boy?

Yes! Just yesterday we were treated to macro close-ups of the butt of a gentleman swimmer whose bathing costume malfunctioned.

Miss Grimke: What is up with this? Don't we have enough crises and misunderstandings and humilations and and and

DGF: I don’t feel I’ve made a decision about how to best engage in this discussion.

Starry-eyed Distractions

2009-07-07T19:04:00.003-04:00

Miss Grimke: I'm loving the belted cardigan and the metalic flats. It's a great look. Don't you think?

DGF: Yes, it's a great look. I practically live in it.

Miss Grimke: You do not.

DGF: How do you know?

Miss Grimke: I saw what you wear at Elmwood. Those fluffy blue slippers.

DGF: Oh, right. Ah, that was so long ago.

Miss Grimke: Those were such innocent times.

DGF: Yes, we were all so innocent then.

Miss Grimke: We had no idea what was in store for us.

DGF: Well, we had an inkling. Only an inkling.

Miss Grimke: Did you see Public Enemies?

DGF: I'd watch anything with Johnny Depp in it. I would not have minded more story about Melvin Purvis, that fine southern gentlemen, though.

Miss Grimke: Who do you think will play you in the movie? Meryl Streep?

DGF: She could play me. She could play anyone. She could play John Dillinger. Maybe we should think outside the box, though.

Miss Grimke: Helen Mirren?

DGF: Oo, oo, now I'm getting excited.

Miss Grimke: Who would play Charlie?

DGF: Johnny Depp, of course.

How to wake up lazy skin

2009-06-18T16:57:00.003-04:00

Miss Grimke: Richard Bradley is like that fly Obama whacked. Do you want us to swat him for you?

DGF: Who is Richard Bradley?

Miss Grimke: He blah-blahs about how you won't talk to the press about Harvard's going broke and other things.

DGF: Oh that guy. I'll contribute to history's first draft when I'm good and ready. Too much is at stake on too many fronts and too much is still too raw. Nothing is simple enough for sound bites and being second-guessed by people who consider themselves experts on this and that. The potential consequences of distortions are too dire.

Miss Grimke: Okay, whatever. I read in the FT that you should not use moisturizer because it makes your skin lazy.

DGF: Do tell. Well I don't use moisturizer and my skin is already incredibly lazy. It just sits there and sags.

Miss Grimke: I quit using it for about a week and my skin finally woke up and nagged me about neglecting this blog.

DGF: Well whoop de whoop.

Miss Grimke: You're not in a very good mood are you.

DGF: No comment.

The future brightens

2009-06-03T11:01:00.002-04:00

You read it here first: DGF has selected a replacement for her executive vice president, Ed Forst, who has resigned. In one of her many strokes of brilliance she has hired Zoe Warren-Washburne, the tough, smart, talented former first officer on Serenity, the legendary salvage ship. She is just what DGF needs, a tactician who has worked with the best and prevailed through many trials by fire. She also shares DGF’s attitude toward fashion—wear whatever works best for the job and then forget about it. As with DGF, the result is exactly correct and eminently flattering.

From Drew’s official press release: “I am extremely pleased that Zoe Warren-Washburne has agreed to come to Harvard and serve as the University’s second executive vice president. She brings deep experience with a large, complex, and universal organization, a proven track record in managing the functions that will be central to her new role, and an outstanding reputation for her effective leadership style.

“We have important work ahead of us, with new challenges unfolding daily, and Zoe’s leadership and experience will help ensure that our administrative capacity can support our academic ambitions at the level of excellence they deserve, despite our need to address urgent and rare issues.” Faust continued.

Warren-Washburne said, "The decision to leave Serenity was extremely difficult. In my many years as First Officer I formed lasting and deep relationships with the captain and crew, but they understand my desire to work in a new environment with new challenges and to spend quality time with my feet planted on the good ship Earth.

“I am ready and eager to serve my new captain: Drew Gilpin Faust.”

As First Officer Warren-Washburne became known for her intense loyalty—which extended to her refusal to steer her boss wrong. She sizes up complex situations rapidly with uncanny accuracy. She is also an accurate shot. Her weapon of choice is her sawed-off rifle, which she wears holstered off her right hip and leg. She's draws on a variety of back up hand guns as well as a pump action shot gun.

Zoe Warren-Washburne has all the qualities we look for in a Southern lady and a person to serve as First Officer to our dear Captain Drew.

The Fan Club is indebted to erdprods on IMDb for details on Warren-Washburne’s career.

The future looks dim

2009-05-19T17:20:00.010-04:00

The Drew Gilpin Faust Fan Club has since last November several times taken note of the resemblance POTUS has to our dear DGF. With much discussion recently about his resemblance to Spock, and after a field trip to see the new Star Trek prequel, we labored to see if a character there might resemble DGF, or if perhaps she might be even more Spocklike than POTUS. After all, like Spock, who spurned the Vulcan elite in order to join Starfleet Academy, Drew left behind her native land to achieve great power within an alien culture.

Alas, we could not see much of Dr. Faust in Mr. Spock. In fact, we came away disheartened to see that in the far distant future, despite so many advances in space travel and intergalactic cooperation, civilization has not advanced far enough to enable the invention of pants for women.

Three women are in the movie. One is shown only in the final stage of giving birth. She is of course pantless. One is sexually accommodating the young Kirk. She is pantless and green. Not that there's anything wrong with being green. The third is Uhura. She is wonderful but she exists only for Kirk to pine after and Spock to kiss. It is implied that she is also brilliant and useful. The poor dear, though, along with the other women on the ship, must traipse about pantless.

I asked Drew to weigh in on the issue of what does the future hold for women if we must go pantless. Here is her reply:

"As we attempt to balance yesterday’s dreams with today’s realities and tomorrow’s needs, we must remember that as we struggle with our own wardrobes, we are nonetheless being looked to for future and intergalactic solutions. I believe we in the present are uniquely prepared to answer the future's summons - through the breakthroughs that result from our research, through our concentration of institutions that are anchored here, and through our shared capacity for collaboration and innovation that helps drive sartorial progress.

"We are in an enviable position because our institutions - including UMass, Tufts, Northeastern, Boston University, MIT, and Harvard, together form an enormous engine, an engine that is fueled by curiosity and a mission to stretch the boundaries of new fabrics and their embellishments, an engine that must continue to do so in order to ensure our continue ability to supply pants to women.

"Our colleges and universities are magnets for funding from outside sources, which enables us to spend considerable dollars right here in the Commonwealth, at high-end boutiques, at the fabulous Natick Collection, and at the off-price stores, at TJ Maxx, at Microcenter, and at Trader Joe's.

"One of the most significant things about our research universities is that they are engines that also produce the fuel – the scientists, physicians, and engineers, and their husbands - that buy the new products that will help renew our economy and power the nation’s ability to continue to provide leg-wear for women. Mayor Menino understands this, and his advocacy, along with that of leaders on Beacon Hill, has helped ensure that Boston and Massachusetts will continue to be the world’s leading pants wearers, even during these challenging times and well into the distant future. "

These are encouraging words from a brilliant woman. I take heart! Perhaps the future will continue to be as progressive for women as the present. It's literally the least we can ask.

Honorary degree

2009-05-03T19:01:00.008-04:00

The financial services professionals are wondering if we are having a junk rally. DGF and I meanwhile are suffering through a junk spring. We are back into cashmere and corduroy, bundling up to check on the progress of our polygonum in the petit bois. What bright spots can we find in the gardens of our lives, nevermind Wall Street and Main Street?
Miss Grimke: You should be one of those Southerners made honorary Yankees.
DGF: I'm not sure what to think of that.
Miss Grimke: Many honors are double-edged.
DGF: Not those bestowed by the New York Historical Society.
Miss Grimke: Stephen Colbert and Shepard Fairey could be honorary Yankees.
DGF: Who's an honorary Southerner?
Miss Grimke: Mitt Romney off the top of my head.
DGF: Do you think all Republicans who aren't from the South should be honorary Southerners?
Miss Grimke: No of course not. David Souter wouldn't be a Southerner if you locked him in a closet with Dolly Parton and force-fed him grits. Neither would Bill Buckley.
DGF: At least he'd be warm!

NEWS FLASH: DGF GOES WILD IN RED!

2009-04-30T18:37:00.004-04:00

We have never seen her in this color. We have never seen her in anything so colorful (in public). This is a major major breakthrough! Doesn't she look great?! I have to believe her breakthrough color is red because, well, it's crimson.

Speaking of crimson, this picture is from the Crimson, and beneath it the gentleman photographer Adam Sidman lets us know it is for sale. Of course we did not buy it. We do not have money for purchasing photographs in our budget. Drew, I regret to report, has decided that it would be unseemly for her to use her $50,000 book award to fund Champagne for the fan club. So if Mr. Sidman comes after us we'll have to take up a collection or throw ourselves on his mercy.

Rivalry at the top

2009-04-21T14:09:00.004-04:00

Miss Grimke: I could start a Fan Club for Elizabeth Warren.
DGF: Knock yourself out.
Miss Grimke: Are you jealous?
DGF: She is very pretty.
Miss Grimke: No, I mean, that she is Cop of the Tarp and you are just president of old Harvard.
DGF: I'm struggling real hard to see the downside of that.
Miss Grimke: She was on The Daily Show.
DGF: Okay, now I'm feeling a bit of a twinge.
Miss Grimke: But she doesn't have a Fan Club yet.
DGF: Bless her heart.

Backfire

2009-04-08T16:28:00.010-04:00

Spring has come to the calendar, but not to Elmwood. The trees are bare, and the backyard is soggy from heavy rains. Only two signs of our shade garden (aka le petit bois) have appeared: the leaves of the helleborus and what we hope is the cimicifuga but fear may be some noxious weed. The Harvard Hole haunts us, but we try to keep our conversation focused on other areas of concern.

Miss Grimke: If this so-called garden doesn't show signs of life soon, you should take your $50,000 and buy that double-barrel cannon from Athens. It would look good here.

DGF: I can't imagine that Athens would part with its cannon.

Miss Grimke: Obviously you have never tasted the desperation of poverty.

DGF: That's true, but I have a good imagination. And pride has been known to outweigh hunger.

Miss Grimke: You could just make an offer.

DGF: Perhaps I'm not interested in spending my $50,000 on bringing a cannon to Elmwood.

Miss Grimke: What if it has historical significance?

DGF: I'm sure it does, but heavy weaponry was not my field of study, only the outcome of its use.

Miss Grimke: Then you should know this! A brilliant southern gentleman, Mr. John Gilleland, invented the cannon to fire two cannonballs linked by a chain.

DGF: Indeed. Did it work?

Miss Grimke: It was spectacular! In the test firing one of the balls left the muzzle before the other and so they flew around wildly in big circles, plowing up an acre of ground, destroying a corn field, and mowing down some saplings before the chain broke.

DGF: That was spectacular.

Miss Grimke: But that's not all! After the chain broke the balls flew off in separate directions. One killed a cow. The other crashed into the chimney of a house. Mr. Gilleland declared the cannon an unqualified success.

DGF: Was it ever used in battle?

Miss Grimke: No. The powers that were did not agree that it was a success and refused to provide funds for further experiments.

DGF: You are not going to relate this to Allston are you.

Miss Grimke: No. But it does sort of remind me of Larry.

DGF: I sure do hope the toad lilies bloom again this fall.

The Fan Club plagiarized part of an account of the cannon by Richard E. Irby, Jr. for the purposes of this blog. The full account is here: http://ngeorgia.com/ang/Athen's_Double_Barrel_Cannon

Commentary on current events

2009-04-07T13:03:00.005-04:00

Drew was fresh from her triumph at the New York Historical Society, accepting the $50,000 prize for Death Warmed Over, aka This Republic of Suffering, and feeling receptive to an interview on important current events.

Miss Grimke: So what do you think about the cardigans?

DGF: What cardigans?

Miss Grimke: Michelle's cardigans.

DGF: What about her cardigans?

Miss Grimke: Don't you think she's over-doing them?

DGF: Is it possible to over-do cardigans?

Miss Grimke: I certainly think so. The election night cardigan was edgy. The sparkly cardigan for meeting the Browns was acceptable if not brilliant. But a cardigan to meet the Queen? And that crazy cardigan she wore to the concert! Good grief! Enough is enough!

DGF: Cardigans travel really well.

Miss Grimke: What do you know about cardigans?

DGF: I went through a cardigan period.

Miss Grimke: I just bet you did.

In support of a return to the classics

2009-03-31T06:43:00.008-04:00

Our very dear friend and treasured member of the Fan Club, Miss Talmadge, of the other Georgia Talmadges, has become engaged to marry the Maori fire dancer, a delightful gentleman she met on a recent trip to Hawaii. This news dovetails nicely with Drew's recent mandate to encourage her students to explore esoteric topics. Also we all recall Dr. Faust's coronation featured dancers of the multicultural persuasion, a thrilling display.

Miss Talmadge's betrothed would make an excellent professor of fire and knife dancing and attract other artists of his ilk to dreary old Cambridge.

Meanwhile, the Fan Club has named Miss Talmadge its Artist-in-Residence. Miss Talmadge is known for her reclining nudes and recently developed a passion for double-barrelled cannons (the only example of which is on display in Athens) as well as for a certain flame-dancer.

Move the Fogg to Allston

2009-03-24T12:46:00.004-04:00

Like the other game-changing President, Drew Gilpin Faust faces painful choices foisted on her by the bad decisions of her predecessors. Yet Drew won't allow us to say a single bad word about Larry--she's such a lady!

I'd like to see Larry out there on Western Avenue now, where it's 34 degrees in the sun, picking up the trash and extracting plastic bags tangled in the chain-link fences.

Right now those of us left holding the bag have figured out how to make lemonade: Take all the Fogg art now hiding is some basement somewhere and exhibit it in the car dealership show rooms!

Voila no more toxic asset!

We must tell Drewdie, if we can find out where she'd hiding.

Higher finance

2009-03-16T14:28:00.003-04:00

Dr. Faust was indisposed recently. To cheer her up we sent her this nightgown. Having the flu is no excuse not to look pretty!

But what really cheered her up was winning $50,000 from the New York Historical Society for This Republic of Suffering. Good to know someone can get through that thing without falling into the slough of despond!

But what really cheers us up is that Drewdie has thought about using her winnings to endow the Fan Club! Invested in an annuity that throws off 5% annually, her winnings will provide us with $2,500 a year! That's more than $50 a week for Champagne!

Technically an endowment should go to fund capital improvements and repairs, but since we don't have a club house (yet, hint hint), we can use it for operating expenses.

Soul searching

2009-02-23T20:06:00.003-05:00

Drew has accused us of trivializing serious subjects, and yet she has been grateful for our ability to cut through the razzle-dazzle and focus on timeless values. Uncertainty sometimes seems our only certainty.

But what has become clear is that we are living through much more than a bump in the road. We are navigating without a map, plucking our eyebrows without a mirror. We don’t know if we are headed for a deep abyss out of which we will need to claw our way hand over fist or if we are headed for a deep dark woods where branches will whip us in the face and thorns tear at our clothes and in the distance we hear the terrifying sound, like a woman’s scream and then we realize that it’s something worse—a bobcat—and it’s coming closer. It is starving. We are its prey. We have no choice but to run as fast as we can, tearing off garments to leave in our wake, to slow the beast. We throw off clothes until we are running naked, freezing and sweating. Will we reach shelter in time? Will we get arrested for indecent exposure? What if it really is a screaming woman and not a bobcat?

Discovering as much as we can about the nature of our situation is critical; it lies at the heart of what we do. Doing so will mean taking some difficult steps. At a time of new constraint, it will involve discipline and sacrifice. It will entail hard choices about what matters most.

This challenge can seem particularly daunting after a period of extended growth and expansive opportunities. But we live in the moment that history has presented to us, and I am confident we will rise to this occasion even though we have never done this before.

It is our collective obligation to face the situation with the right balance of short-term focus and long-term ambition, for ourselves and for dear Dr. Faust, whose disposition will be shaped by our choices.

Wherever we work or eat, whatever the demands of our present moment, we share enduring ideals. We are committed to attracting the most able and creative community of fans in the world, and pursuing new knowledge and ideas with all the imagination and rigor we can summon. We are committed to opening our doors to products of the highest caliber as long as we can obtain them for a reasonable mark-up. We are committed, as part of a nation and a world vexed with complex problems, to seeking new understandings and solutions informed by serious consumption of Champagne. And we are committed to upholding the values of free inquiry and expression, of excellence and innovation across the domains of fashion, food, and gardening that shape our fan club.

Leading the way at Fashion Week

2009-02-20T16:21:00.009-05:00

Secretary Geithner wants to stress-test the banks. Meanwhile, I'm stress-testing my Spanx. Have you any idea what happens to a Southern lady who becomes ice-bound and does not watch what she eats? I should get Geithner to ring-fence my pantry.

Drew is also being stress-tested, but Fashion Week has provided much-needed diversion, as well as validating her fashion sense. It turns out our game-changing Dr. Faust is a leader in the area of fashion as well as in so many other areas!

As suits suits suits pranced down the runway all the faces in the tent turned toward Drew. Or would have. Had she been at Fashion Week. Which she could have been. But probably wasn’t. But obviously the beautiful people and the fashion designers are all Drew Gilpin Faust fans!

So brilliant she is! She can update her wardrobe merely by belting her jackets! Perfect for these times of austerity. I'm sure she has lots of belts. If not I can lend her mine. None of mine fit anymore. Did I mention she is brilliant? I can't wait to see this look on her.

Not About Allston

2009-02-16T06:45:00.004-05:00

Miss Grimke: Too bad you don't qualify for the early retirement package.

DGF: I am not interested in throwing in the towel yet, at any rate.

Miss Grimke: Some people say there has been a lot of wasteful spending at the World's Richest University and you need to cut back on the perks, like Champagne. I'm appalled.

DGF: Any large institution is going to have areas where money could have been spent more wisely or should not have been spent at all. We are taking a close look at everything.

Miss Grimke: But cut back on Champagne? That would be a huge huge loss.

DGF: How's it going, your work with Trader Joe's on the sparkling Chuque?

Miss Grimke: Slowly, slowly, somewhat like the construction in Allston.

DGF: Please don't start with the Allston bit again. It ceases to amuse me.

Miss Grimke: I hear the Allston rats are starting to wear little red hoodies that say "Harvard University."

DGF: Again with the not listening to me.

Miss Grimke: How about this: Dr. Faust goes pantless to draw attention to the need to cut back on expenses.

DGF: Now I remember. This is a fashion blog. I'm always pantless under my robe.

Another literary dish-fest

2009-02-05T07:38:00.002-05:00

Miss Grimke: Is anyone allowed to say anything negative about John Updike? Is he a national treasure, like Barbaro or Brady?

DGF: He was perhaps the Harvard of white male writers.

Miss Grimke: He was the purveyor of the philosophy of self-realization through the practice of adultery.

DGF: He was very gifted in his use of the language, but when he tried to write from the female point of view the only characters he could imagine himself into were witches. And when he imagined female power he imagined it would be used to fight over men.

Miss Grimke: He wrote the male equivalent of high-brow chicklit.

DGF: I would not pursue that metaphor in an armored Hummvee.

Beleaguered and besieged

2009-01-30T07:36:00.003-05:00

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune have got us down. Our dear Dr. Faust, like the other game-changing President, is cool under pressure, loves sinking her teeth into tough problems, putting her shoulder to the wheel, and forging on. But like Mr. Obama, after a long strenuous day gnawing over intractable dilemmas and deflecting more unpleasant surprises, she finds herself flat on her back in the bed staring at the ceiling wondering Whatever happened to the Future in Future Farmers of America?

The Road to Elmwood

2009-01-22T13:05:00.000-05:00

Miss Grimke: Is Faust the Obama of Harvard?

DGF: I refuse to engage in such grandiosities. You are the fan club president--I'm just its innocent victim.

Miss Grimke: Would Larry be the W?

DGF: You know I don't traffic in trash talk about my predecessor. Is this so-called conversation going anywhere interesting? Larry was competent. He's more than competent. He's brilliant. Ask Obama for heaven's sake! W was something else--we don't know what. At least I don't know what.

Miss Grimke: As W paved the way for Obama, Larry paved the way for Drewdie.

DGF: I paved my own damn way Miss Grimke!

Miss Grimke: Okay okay okay, don't get all testy on me!

The Harvard of Fan Clubs

2009-01-16T14:07:00.000-05:00

Stuff White People Like, #98: The Ivy League (see http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/05/06/98-the-ivy-league/).

Of course the comments deteriorated into the usual blah blah around whether Harvard is or isn't over-rated. One poster of the "isn't" persuasion noted that colleges not in the northeast tend to promote themselves by saying they are the "Harvard of Where-ever." True, that. But what if "Harvard" were used to mean "widely perceived as being the best but often challenged as over-rated, also the oldest and very expensive and maybe the most prestigious but tainted with a wee (sometimes not so wee) bit of pretension?"

Then "the Harvard of" could be applied to a vast array of subjects. Here we give it a try:

The Daily Show is the Harvard of Comedy Central.
The black lab is the Harvard of dogs.
Slow-cook oatmeal is the Harvard of breakfast.
The American beech is the Harvard of trees.
The cello is the Harvard of instruments.
The Maine coon cat is the Harvard of cats.
The peony is the Harvard of perennials.
The quiche is the Harvard of brunch.
Alex Beam is the Harvard of Boston Globe "g" columnists.
The butterfly is the Harvard of swimming strokes.
The duck boot is the Harvard of wet cold winter footwear.
The Boston rocker is the Harvard of chairs.
Ikea is the Harvard of discount shopping.
Trader Joe's is the Harvard of grocery stores.
The turkey is the Harvard of fowl.
The cable-knit pullover is the Harvard of sweaters
The almond is the Harvard of nuts.
Lobster is the Harvard of seafood.
Cheesecake is the Harvard of desserts.
The latte is the Harvard of coffee drinks

DGF is the Harvard of Civil War scholars (except there is no doubt she is the best and she isn't even the wee-est bit pretentious).

The Ice Age

2009-01-10T13:55:00.002-05:00

I can barely see out my windows now, the frost is so thick. The hum of Route 2 is muffled by snow drifts that must be eight feet high, or higher. I can't get out to measure so I only can guess by high it hits on the trees, trees that I can see by squinting through the small opening left in my window. What's worse, my dears, is that my Champagne is frozen. Also the battery on my phone has died and the garrett has no outlets for electricity. I wonder how long the battery on my laptop will last? It is my only source of warmth, and I'm nearly out of chocolate-covered espresso beans. My door is locked from the outside. I think Drew has forgotten me, or worse. Do you think? No, that's not possible. She is just very very busy. Plus, she might have the flu, too.

Christmas Letter

2009-01-02T12:29:00.000-05:00

Darlings, First of all let me thank you for all the support you have given me over the past year as we have tried to keep up with our dear Dr. Faust and at the same time make her life a teensy bit easier. I must say I believe we have achieved our goals. And I can state with confidence that Drew appreciates our contribution to her quality of life and our success in clarifying her greatness to the world at large.

Evidence of her gratitude: I’m writing to you from the garrett Dr. Faust has assigned me at Elmwood. It is quite chilly here, as we do our part to minimize our carbon footprint. Thoughtfully, Drew gave me for Christmas a cunning pair of mittens that convert into fingerless gloves. So no matter how cold it gets I can still type and play the lute. Well, I could play the lute if I could play the lute, but that’s neither here nor there.

Here I have a tiny window overlooking Route 2 where the constant swirl of traffic keeps me focused on the ineffable passage of time. From time to time I descend the stairs to the tertiary kitchen from which I fetch a fresh bottle of Champagne. At least I did until yesterday when it became apparent that my charming garrett is chilly enough to serve as a refrigerator! Ensconced here I feel just like Emily Dickinson or Louisa May Alcott or even my great great aunt thrice removed Angelina Weld Grimke, with whom I was fortunate enough to meet as a small, very very small, a very very very small, child.

As you know this is a blog so I don't have to account for our activities of the past 12 months or so. You may simply read the entries to stroll through our year of advances and retreats, our digressions and diversions, our agonies and our ecstacies.

This letter instead will focus on something far more important — for we at the Drew Gilpin Faust Fan Club have made a fundamental shift in our perception of the role and function of our club in the life of Drewdie. This shift began when we read the powerful “Vision for the Arts at the Drew Gilpin Faust Fan Club” that formed the core of the report from the task force we charged to study said subject. This shift will continue over months and years ahead as we engage in a dialogue that will, I hope, ultimately see the arts assume their rightful place in the life of the Drew Gilpin Faust Fan Club.

Especially in difficult times, when ways of thinking and doing that we have taken for granted are challenged on a daily and weekly basis, we must encourage ourselves to ask fundamental questions and to solve problems in the inventive and collaborative ways exemplified by the making of art. Art produces experiences and objects that are carefully constructed and intricate reflections of the world, including the world of our dear Dr. Faust. Empathy, imagination, and creativity are forms of knowledge that our club must foster in its members. Moreover, the arts have the power to bring us together as a community in the present, but also to provide powerful connections to those who have come before us and to those who will follow us. In times of uncertainty, the arts remind us of our humanity and provide the reassuring proof that we, along with the Grecian urn, the Colbert Report, and the Dixie Chicks, have endured and will continue to do so. Now is the time to embrace, not retreat from the arts.

The actions recommended by the task force will not happen overnight and will require, over time, significant investments of both energy and Champagne on the part of myself, your President. In the near term, I look forward to working with the good people at Trader Joe's as they begin the process of upgrading their sparkling Tubuque Chucque as an economical alternative to the Champagne that fuels this blog. I hope to define, as well, some concrete actions to enhance support of this club in the larger world as we require more resources, such as chocolate covered espresso beans, with which to support the work of our beloved Drew.

I am personally grateful to the task force for their enormous investment of time and erudition in leading these efforts, and for their thoughtfulness and hard work in pointing us forward on this important set of issues. The report affirms the value of the arts in the life of our fan club and reminds us that we at the Drew Gilpin Faust Fan Club are both privileged and obligated to provide a comprehensive fandom experience as well as enhance the daily existence and reputation of Drew Faust.

Fondly, with eager anticipation of a peaceful and productive New Year,
Miss Grimke

We look forward to our continued work with Drew as we address these challenges together.

2008-12-08T11:25:00.001-05:00

As we navigate our way through these turbulent economic times, it is good to reflect on the timeless shared values from which we derive our greathest strengths.

Miss Grimke: Who is the sexiest man alive?

DGF: Charlie of course.

Miss Grimke: Then who is the sexiest man dead? Matthew Brady?

DGF: He was a fine looking man, but I think I'd go with Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Miss Grimke: Even if he was pure distilled Yankee?

DGF: Even if.

Miss Grimke: You do have an open mind!

DGF: Indeed I do!

Getting a little grimmer

2008-12-08T11:05:00.003-05:00

Southern Ladies are renown for their ability to make do beautifully in times of austerity, and our dear Dr. Faust is no exception. Nevertheless it is painful when we have to cut back on our plans to make the world more lovely.

Miss Grimke: Is it true that the Allston redo is hold?

DGF: I'm afraid so, Miss Grimke.

Miss Grimke: But we have the colors all picked out!

DGF: The colors will keep.

Miss Grimke: Can't we just cut back? Use Formica instead of granite? Do more with Home Depot? Or Ikea? Ikea has beautiful design at very reasonable prices.

DGF: Is this a product placement or an interview?

Miss Grimke: Now you've hurt my feelings.

DGF: It's symbolic, really, like the goat farm. Though of course one would notice the cost of Allston, whereas we could slip the goat farm in under the radar.

Miss Grimke: Could we really? Do you think?

DGF: I think I would not like to hear what Mr. Beam would say if he got wind of such a thing.

Miss Grimke: I don't give a fig what Mr. Bean says.

DGF: Nevertheless, Allston is on hold.

Miss Grimke: I know billions and billions have melted away, but we still have billions and billions left.

DGF: We?

Miss Grimke: We have enough to buy Home Depot or Ikea. DIY should be an excellent investment. Then we could unload them at a profit when the economy recovers. We'd look brilliant!

DGF: Some of us already look brilliant.

Miss Grimke: Let's buy Microcenter? I know you love Microcenter! Or Trader Joe's--a more delectable investment I cannot imagine!

DGF: I don't think finance is your strong suit, dear.

Miss Grimke: Unlike Larry, you mean?

DGF: Don’t worry, we won’t sell the orientals. We won’t smash up the baby grand for fire wood. Though I must admit I’m a bit weary of that hideously depressing Allston hanging over the mantle.

Tightening Our Belts

2008-11-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

Miss Grimke: I’m so excited about the big dinner in December at Elmwood. Thanks so much for putting me on the task force!

DGF: We all know of the extraordinary turbulence still roiling the world’s financial markets and the broader economy.

Miss Grimke: I am preparing vast amounts of congealed salad, using locally harvested sustainable canned fruits and tiny marshmellows and generic gelatin.

DGF: The downturn is widely seen as the most serious in decades, and each day’s headlines remind us that heightened volatility and persisting uncertainty have become our new economic reality.

Miss Grimke: Cheese balls provide a really fun, festive touch, and they are also economical, if you shop at Trader Joe’s for the cheese.

DGF: For all the challenges such circumstances present, we are fortunate to be part of an institution remarkable for its resilience.

Miss Grimke: Of course I’ll make them myself, using an old family recipe that was once printed in the Charleston News and Courier!

DGF: Over centuries, Harvard has weathered many storms and sustained its strength through difficult times. We have done so by staying true to our academic values and our long-term ambitions, by carefully stewarding our resources and thoughtfully adapting to change. We will do so again.

Miss Grimke: Do you think we can afford to double the amount of pecans in the pies? I know that makes them so much better than ordinary. I’d hate to skimp on pecans!

DGF: But we must recognize that Harvard is not invulnerable to the seismic financial shocks in the larger world.

Miss Grimke: Okay, I guess that means we’ll be rolling in squash and pumpkin pies. Sustainable, locally grown squash and pumpkin.

DGF: Our own economic landscape has been significantly altered. We will need to plan and act in ways that reflect that reality, to assure that we continue to advance our priorities for teaching, research, and service.

Miss Grimke: But at the expense of pecan pies, I see! Indeed we have fallen on hard hard times.

Tear Down the Curtains

2008-11-06T10:39:00.000-05:00

Drew and I were recovering from all the excitement by working on a plan for a demonstration produce garden at Elmwood. Of course the new administration was not far from our thoughts.

Miss Grimke: Does the election of Barack Obama mean our country has been redeemed from the original sin of slavery?

DGF: I would not want to put that great a burden on the shoulders of any one man. But it certainly lightens our hearts.

Miss Grimke: Are you jealous that Larry’s name is being mentioned for a cabinet post?

DGF: Oh yes. I want everything Larry has. I have his office, his chair, his university. . .

Miss Grimke: His bell, book, and candle.

DGF: What? Oh you mean the keys, the charter, and the great seal.

Miss Grimke: Whatever. Don’t you want to be in the cabinet too?

DGF: Absolutely. I have radical ideas I want to implement as soon as possible.

Miss Grimke: Please share them with us!

DGF: My ideas center on draperies. I want to tear them down. . .

Miss Grimke: And make a ball dress?

DGF: No no no! I would send them to Al Gore for recycling. I want to tear down the draperies to leave the windows bare, to let in all the light. I favor a simple, unadorned window, draperies take a lot of energy to clean, and sunlight is the best disinfectant.

Miss Grimke: Dr. Faust, I would appoint you Secretary of Drapery.

DGF: And I would work myself right out of a job!

Sumner Would Be Proud

2008-11-03T10:09:00.001-05:00

The scribbler Alex Beam tried to make fun of Dr. Faust because she’s promoting sustainability. Of course he failed, but not before delivering a nasty jab. He went so far as to mention goats, callously disregarding Dr. Faust’s having had to give up her dream of a dairy at Elmwood.

Mr. Beam resides in splendor in the principality of Waban, where at the “farmers market” during the warm month one may be allowed to purchase a ripe tomato for $5, truly a bargain given that it is not raised but coddled, nurtured in organic soil worked by free-range basidiomycetes and fertilized by yak droppings hand-gathered in the high Qinghai-Tibetan Plateau.

Mr. Bean’s ribbing Dr. Faust is like the Mercedes calling the Volvo snobbish.

Blondes Having Fun

2008-10-31T13:16:00.001-04:00

DGF: Are we allowed to discuss the wardrobes of the ladies involved in the campaign? Is that suitable for polite conversation?

Miss Grimke: Indubitably!

DGF: Well that’s too bad because I think talking about clothes is boring.

Miss Grimke: Well shut my mouth!

DGF: Just kidding! I think talking about my clothes is boring. I think Sarah has an excellent fashion sense.

Miss Grimke: I totally agree. I think you could learn a thing or two from her.

DGF: What did I just say?

Miss Grimke: Blah blah blah. Cindy McCain I think looked better when her style was a little less, you know, like she was trying too hard.

DGF: Trying too hard! That is the Southern Lady’s worst insult!

Miss Grimke: Well, really. Bless her heart, it is such a difficult thing to do: looking good effortlessly. Sometimes it happens just by chance and sometimes you can’t pull it off no matter how hard you try.

DGF: Michelle is like Sarah. I don’t think she has hit a false note yet.

Miss Grimke: I love her in purple. But you know Cindy has one advantage the other two lack.

DGF: What’s that?

Miss Grimke: Being blond. Being blond trumps a lot.

DGF: Ain’t that the truth!

Tea Time

2008-10-30T08:50:00.000-04:00

Miss Grimke: Is Barack Obama a Southern Lady?

DGF: Indubitably! I’d love to say that, but really, he is more of a Southern Gentleman.

Miss Grimke: I knew that, but really, he’d look good even in a dress.

DGF: It’s the slim. The slim look good in anything.

Miss Grimke: But not the really skinny. I don’t like to see bones, for heaven’s sake, except at Halloween.

DGF: Are we allowed to discuss religion or politics in polite company?

Miss Grimke: I was taught otherwise. Especially not over dinner.

DGF: Oh I’m terribly sorry. Are you hungry? I have some excellent goat cheese rolled in cracked peppercorns.

Miss Grimke: Delightful! I’d love to have some.

DGF: Specialty of the house!

Footwear for winter

2008-10-22T15:55:00.001-04:00

New England winters can be hard on us Southern Ladies. It can be hard on anyone who doesn't have door to door car service. But hardship can bring out the best in us, and we do love the snow and an excuse to curl up next to a warm fire with a little glass of sherry or, really, a large bottle of sherry. In the event of an all-out Alberta Clipper protocol would call for Canadian whiskey, though a nice Kentucky bourbon would do in a pinch.

On a day when the sky was leaden but the Norway maples had not yet peaked, I slipped over to Elmwood for a little chit chat and I won't tell you what else.

Miss Grimke: I do love winter and yet I hate it.
DGF: Ambiguity is at the heart of it.
Miss Grimke: It's an excuse for cashmere and fur but there is absolutely nothing you can put on your feet to keep them warm and dry.
DGF: Duck boots are the only thing.
Miss Grimke: Duck boots ruin any outfit, I don't care how rustic.
DGF: I'm not meaning either to condemn or celebrate them.
Miss Grimke: Now that you are well into your sophomore year, how do you like your job?
DGF: Heavy is the burden of independence and automony.
Miss Grimke: Does it require ten thousand acts of domination per day?
DGF: No. One or two usually does the trick.
Miss Grimke: So being mistress of Harvard is nothing like trying to manage a hundred slaves while your husband is off whupping Yankees?
DGF: Of course not. It's more like trying to herd cats.
Miss Grimke: When your expertise lies in the herding of goats.
DGF: I think I've adapted.
Miss Grimke: I've never seen you in duck boots.
DGF: You've never seen me in a lot of things, and you never will.

Toad lilies, goat farms, and branding

2008-10-08T08:44:00.000-04:00

Our dear Dr. Faust has suffered a set-back. Nothing major or serious, but truly a disappointment for her. She has had to abandon her dream of having a model goat farm at Elmwood. Even with me helping as project manager, running a dairy large enough to supply cheese for the dining hall would be too much of a distraction from her day job, especially now that the financial community is belly up in a ditch and even the World's Richest University has to sit very very still and take deep cleansing breaths.

So Drew has scaled back, for now anyway. She thinks of her goats more as pets than a demonstration of the Sustainable University. Sure we'll make a little cheese, but it'll just be for friends and family, and maybe we'll have a tasting as a fund-raiser for the Mathew Brady Memorial Darkroom.

The old 4-H-er has to get her hands dirty, so she's started a shade garden in a lovely spot at Elmwood. Her biggest delight now is tending a collection of toad lilies that surprised us by blooming a few weeks ago. We moved two plastic chairs to a spot of grass near the new flower bed and fell into what could pass for political discourse, or maybe not.

Miss Grimke: Do you consider yourself a maverick?

DGF: Perhaps. But a maverick is someone or something that has been not been branded. I'm afraid I've been branded.

Miss Grime: Branded what?

DGF: Feminist, for one thing. When I get depressed all I have to do is remember how the old boy Civil War historians got their boxers in knots over Mothers of Invention.

Miss Grimke: That cheers me up, too!

DGF: Here's what I don't understand, and I'm a highly educated individual. How can you be a maverick if you brand yourself a maverick and a maverick is unbranded?

Miss Grimke: Greater minds than ours will have to answer that question, Dr. Faust.

Time for a change, Drew!

2008-09-18T15:24:00.000-04:00

Miss Grimke: I know what you should wear besides the suit suit suit.

DGF: Really. What.

Miss Grimke: One of those lace dresses Miuccia Prada has dreamed up. There are some very very serious dresses in that collection. In particular, a cream one with long sleeves and a turtle neck. It is very you.

DGF: How can lace ever be me?

Miss Grimke: Signora Prada, even though she is Italian and I have no idea how to pronounce her name, she knows what a serious Southern lady should wear. You should wear this.

DGF: How much does it cost?

Miss Grimke: Thousand of dollars I am sure but what's that compared with the cost of a class at the World's Greatest University? It is a serious dress!

DGF: Can a dress ever be serious?

Miss Grimke: On you, a dress would always be serious.

DGF: So I should rather buy a serious dress than bankroll a Boston public school kid who wants to take macroenomics at Harvard?

Miss Grimke: You have to wear something! You can't spend you life in those suits!

DGF: Watch me.

Beauty tips

2008-09-04T17:50:00.000-04:00

Miss Grimke: Do you think the North is as racist as the South now?

DGF: I think the battle against racism requires constant vigilance, no matter who you are or where you are.

Miss Grimke: Can you think of a beauty routine that's like that?

DGF: I think that question trivializes a serious subject.

Miss Grimke: Well, I'm not so persnickety, and I can answer my own question.

DGF: Do tell.

Miss Grimke: I think the upkeep of the elbow is like that. You can't see your own elbows, but everybody else can. Nothing can ruin the look of a pretty summer dress from behind like the sight of gray scaly elbows. Keeping them looking pretty requires constant vigilance.

DGF: What do you do to keep your elbows looking pretty, Miss Grimke?

Miss Grimke: I cut a lemon in half and mash the pulp side onto my elbow and turn it a few times, like I'm making lemonade. It's a gentle bleaching and exfoliation. Then rinse and apply lotion. Repeat as necessary. Check my elbows in a mirror frequently.

DGF: I really don't think I'll go to all that trouble.

Miss Grimke: Why on earth not.

DGF: I don't care how my elbows look because I don't go sleeveless even in the shower anymore.

Miss Grimke: Someone famous said that.

DGF: I'm famous.

Miss Grimke: But not for saying that.

DGF: Yet.

What we did this summer

2008-08-14T16:43:00.000-04:00

I know I know I know I have been neglecting Drew's fan base terribly, but I'm sure you will all forgive me when you hear what I've been doing--Drew made me project manager for the goat farm! I have been learning a lot, and Drew has been re-learning a lot. For example, "breeding pairs" is a bad idea. Goats are creatures of instinct, not romance. And they have a herd mentality: only one guy gets all the girls. She even had the names all picked out: Sissela and Derek; Geraldine and Tony. We kept Sissela and Derek, for obvious reasons. But Derek has to live apart from the does except for during those special times in the moon phase.
What about Tony? Here's where it gets complicated. Bucks get terribly lonely, but they can't live with other bucks. Housework would never get done! Sorry, my bad. They would fight. The solution is a wether. We couldn't name the wether Tony and Drew wouldn't let me name him Larry, so we just call him Sweetie Pie.

Sidestepping Death

2008-06-19T08:26:00.000-04:00

Miss Grimke: I can't read your book before I go to bed. Last night I dreamed my yard was full of corpses. I couldn't walk out the front door without stepping over a dead body.

DGF: You must have lived in Gettysburg in a prior life.

Miss Grimke: Why did you write that book?

DGF: All I ever really want to do is figure things out.

Miss Grimke: That, and run things.

DGF: Well yes.

Miss Grimke: I guess if you could write I can at least read it.

DGF: During the day, by a window where you can hear birds singing and children at play.

Pride Week debrief

2008-06-16T05:31:00.000-04:00

Miss Grimke: So what did you wear?
DGF: My gown over my qipoa, as I do whenever I want to look and feel special.
Miss Grimke: Ha. I bet you wore that navy pantsuit.
DGF: If you know all the answers why bother asking me questions?
Miss Grimke: Okay. I'll try some hard questions. Can a southern lady be gay?
DGF: Don't be silly. Of course she can.
Miss Grimke: Can a southern gentleman be gay?
DGF: Ditto.
Miss Grimke: Can a gay gentleman be a southern lady?
DGF: Some of the best southern ladies are gay gentlemen.
Miss Grimke: Can a gay lady be a southern gentleman?
DGF: I believe I have seen a few.
Miss Grimke: Why don't you wear your gown everywhere? It looks the best on you. I'd love to see you wafting back and forth across the Yard in it several times a day.
DGF: That would look pretty dumb.
Miss Grimke: Not really. It would upgrade the whole scene.
DGF: I'm afraid it wouldn't go over well with the powers that be.
Miss Grimke: Aren't you the powers that be?
DGF: You got me there.

Report card for a Southern Lady

2008-06-10T07:36:00.000-04:00

The young ladies and gentlemen over at the Crimson graded Drew's freshman year. We don't know much about being president of the World's Greatest University, but we do know a lot about being a Southern Lady. Here is her report card, as graded by those of us who know what's really important.

Fashion: A minus
A lady should look pulled together without drawing undue attention to herself, unless she is Queen of May.

Sometimes it is the person being graded who does the teaching, and that is the case with Drew and Fashion. She gives us little to talk about, and for that we commend her. We would like to see more creativity around piping and lapels, perhaps a subtle tweed from time to time, and we'd love to see a punchy color in the shells she wears under the jackets. But absolutely don't stop with the pearls!

Decorating: B minus
The office says President--what more could we ask for? The Aeron chair, though, is so Route 128. We'd like to see something a little more donnish.

Cooking: C plus
Drew knows her strengths and looks for ways to transcend her weaknesses. Sometimes the middle of the road is exactly where you want to be.

Animal Husbandry: Incomplete
Drew is poised to do some of her best work in this arena.

Gardening: Pass
We congratulate Drew on not making a mess (yet) of converting Elmwood into a dairy farm.

Conclusion: We cannot say that Drew exceeded our expectations for the year, because, really, our expectations could not have been higher. We can say with confidence that she surprised us in many many wonderful ways, and although we have had a few eensy eensy differences, which is not to be unexpected between even the best of friends, in the final analysis we are thrilled thrilled thrilled and can't wait to see what's next!

Sex or Death

2008-06-02T10:50:00.000-04:00

What a cruel world! The library called to let me know that my copy of This Republic of Suffering had arrived on the same day that SATC premiered! How can I chose between Drew Faust and Carrie Bradshaw! Between Carrie Bradshaw and Drew Faust?!

I am paralyzed with indecision!

Who do you think Drew is? Is she a Carrie? A Charlotte? A Miranda? Surely not a Samantha LOL! Like most of us, she's probably a mixture. But what proportions? I think maybe 20% Carrie, 40% Miranda, 30% Charlotte and 10% Samantha.

Recipe swap

2008-05-28T13:21:00.000-04:00

Miss Grimke: What's your favorite cheese?

DGF: That's a trick question to which I have the correct answer: goat cheese.

Miss Grimke: How do you prepare goat cheese?

DGF: I prepare goat cheese by going to the Trader Joe's in Cambridge, next to the Microcenter. There's plenty of free parking and Charlie and I like to browse in Microcenter. It's what we consider a date. We like puttering around with electronics. I got one of those digital picture frames. I love it to death!

Miss Grimke: All full up with Matthew Bradys I bet.

DGF: I am not that much of a geek!

Miss Grimke: You consider shopping at Microcenter a date and you are not that much of a geek?

DGF: I thought we were talking about cheese.

Miss Grimke: How do you prepare the cheese after you go to Trader Joe's?

DGF: I take home the cheese. Then I take out my pepper grinder and a sheet of waxed paper. I grind the pepper on the waxed paper, thick and wide. Then I unwrap the goat cheese. It comes in that log shape you know? Then I roll it over the cracked pepper until it is totally covered. I serve it on a nice china plate with fancy crackers and a real sterling silver butter knife.

Miss Grimke: I bet that gets the oohs and aahhs!

DGF: It does. It looks real fancy. I don't do it often though, only for very special guests that are worth the trouble.

Fogg of war

2008-05-15T11:50:00.000-04:00

Miss Grimke: I cannot believe you are closing the Fogg until 2013. That is five years. Babies not even conceived this year will be walking and talking, saying their ABCs, counting to 100, potty trained, quoting from Shrek...

DGF: Don't you go all Obama on me!

Miss Grimke: I will not be able to stand it. I love that big picture with all the people in it, and the one with the babies in heaven and all that fruit! And that chalk thing of the storm at sea done by the guy they named Allston for! They all soothe my savage breast!

DGF: Suck it up, Miss Grimke. Go to the Gardner for heaven's sake!

Miss Grimke: I will. I will go to the Gardner, and maybe I will not be back.

Update on Elmwood goats

2008-05-14T09:40:00.000-04:00

An unidentified source has informed us that four does and a single buck, all Nubians, have been ordered and are on their way to Elmwood. They need time to get acclimated before breeding season, which usually starts in late August. Kids would be born in February or March and then we'd (we? I am getting caught up in this!) need to wait another 10 months before we could start milking them. Possibly Drew has ordered goats already into their milking cycles. We shall see.
Nubians are the cutest, with floppy ears, but they have very annoying voices. They sound like complaining children. Wonder if Tory Row is really up for this.

Academic Literary Fashion Dish

2008-05-12T15:59:00.000-04:00

Miss Grimke: Did you wear the qipao under the gown at Ed Ayers' coronation?
DGF: Inauguration. Induction. Yes, of course Miss Grimke, I wear it everywhere.
Miss Grimke: Do you think Ed is the male DGF?
DGF: In terms of fashion sense I think he is a little more conservative.
Miss Grimke: What did he wear under his gown?
DGF: Jeans and a flannel shirt. He will never outgrow the Huck Finn look.
Miss Grimke: How's this for an SAT question: Ed Ayers is to Tony Horwitz as Drew Faust is to ___.
DGF: Geraldine Brooks.
Miss Grimke: You are brilliant!
DGF: Not really. I just know how your mind works.

Can't you just see her in this?

2008-05-05T15:35:00.000-04:00

NEWS FLASH: DGF GOES WILD IN LIGHT GRAY

2008-05-03T09:43:00.000-04:00

Yes yes loyal fans, our dear Dr. Faust was photographed in a gray suit on an outing in Korea. Look how she expresses herself with the subtle piping and eccentric cut of the lapels. No man could get away with that, so eat crow all of you who think DGF will not branch away from man-suits. I wonder if those are her mother's pearls? Their pink blush is so sweet and adds just the right feminine touch.

Now for the challenge. Jane Zhu over at qipaobyjane presented Drew with a "custom-made shirt in the traditional Chinese style of the qipao (pronounced chee’ pau), with a mandarin collar, side closure and fabric knot buttons." according to Jane's news release. When I googled Jane before seeing her newsrelease I was a little shocked at the images of sexy ladies in tight silk and thought Good Lord we'll never see Drew in something like that. But no, Jane struck just the right note, found the exact intersection of Drew and qipao. The jacket is "a warm gray Chinese silk satin, lined with soft floral Thai silk and edged in, of course, crimson." Painted on the fabric is a poem in Chinese calligraphy, couplet by Warring States Period poet and philosopher Qu Yuan (340-287 BC), "considered by many to be the father of Chinese Poetry. 路漫漫其修远兮,吾将上下而求索. It roughly translates to “\'the road (truth) is long and arduous, forward and backward shall I seek.' In other words, veritas."

“I came to the poem after much philosophical discussion and inquiring back and forth with learned fathers of friends,” said Zhu in the news release. “I knew that I wanted something very Chinese, but at the same time it had to represent Harvard, and be appropriate for a piece of clothing.”

The news release reports "Faust’s reaction was enthusiastic and warm, 'Isn’t it lovely!' she exclaimed.'I can’t wait to put it on!'”

And speaking for all of us in the fan club: We can't wait to see you in it!

Elmwood Goat Cheese

2008-04-15T08:41:00.000-04:00

Miss Grimke: Why oh why oh why?
DGF: Do you know that 40% of the produce served in the dining hall is locally grown? Why stop with produce? I'm converting garages to dairy barns and shopping for some breeding pairs.
Miss Grimke: Breeding pairs of what, pray tell?
DGF: Goats, dear Miss Grimke. We'll be raising goats on the Elmwood lawn and supplying the dining hall with fresh cheese. Do you know you can now shop for goats on line? Makes my little-ole ex-4-H heart go pittypat.
Miss Grimke: I hate to change the subject but what about that image of you in the Sunday Times, the Crazy Drewdie?
DGF: Actually Miss G I am on that subject. That's going to be the label on the Elmwood Goat Cheese, only minus the insane part, and minus the low prices part, and well, minus all the words. We are working on the text, but frankly, it's on the back burner until we have at least some goats on hand. Don't want to put the cart before the horse!
Miss Grimke: Or the label before the cheese. I'd love to give you a hand with the marketing. Does this mean all is forgiven?
DGF: All what?
Miss Grimke: You know, the book about the book.
DGF: Oh that. Like I need more fans.
Miss Grimke: I'll try not to take that the wrong way.

Ladies of the books

2008-04-08T11:01:00.000-04:00

I must confess an act of betrayal. On the very day DGF was hawking This Republic of Suffering at the Coop, Geraldine Brooks spoke to budding journalists at Boston Latin Academy about People of the Book. I caught Geraldine and came home so exhausted with happiness I couldn't muster the strength to attend DGF's signing. I know I know I betrayed not only DGF but all the many many loyal members of the DGF fan club. But as I told my DH when I got home from communing with GB, "I can handle only one peak author experience per day!"

I bought a copy of P of the B and watched GB autograph it. Oh what grandeur in that fabulous swirl of ink with which she inscribed my book!

Another confession. I haven't been able to read P of the B because I always eat or drink when I read and I'm afraid to sully it. I've never felt this way about books before. Pasta sauce! Wine! Tuna drool! Who cares? It's the words that are important. (To Drew's many fans in the library community: Just Kidding!)

Passover is coming, and the Book of the book is a Haggadah, for reading at the Seder. It is timely that I should now read People of the Book, perhaps with a small glass of wine set carefully to the side.

Meanwhile I've ordered This Republic of Suffering from the BPL. I'm number 33 in the queue. In contrast, were I to order PoftheB from the BPL I'd be number 80.

I wonder does DGF have on the back burner a piece of literary fiction she will share with us someday? I'll ask her next time I run into her, if she will ever speak to me again.

On the couch with Allston

2007-12-30T20:06:00.000-05:00

Miss Grimke: Are you or are you not rethinking Allston.
DGF: I am definitely rethinking Allston. Allston is such a lovely place, but a tad shabby. Do not repeat that please. It could do with a total update, building on what's there but giving it some polish, some sheen.
Miss Grimke: To what extent do you think you can make do with what you have and to what extent do you need to throw out and start over?
DGF: Definitely the colors are right the way they are. Very colorful, very multi-cultural. You know I like that.
Miss Grimke: Yes, yes. I know that. So you want to keep what's there but punch it up a bit?
DGF: Mostly, plus we need to pull down some walls, open up the space, let in some light. The place has really good bones. We need to pull that forward. Structure, plus color, plus light. I think we'd have what we want then.
Miss Grimke: Then Harvard can move right in?
DGF: Goodness no. Then we'll see what we have once we can see what we have.
Miss Grimke: Are the neighbors amenable?
DGF: Well, you know change is difficult for everybody. Renovations are murder for everyone involved. They've been known to destroy a marriage. You have to plan carefully, you have to be ready for the disruption, you have to make sure everyone buys into the process and can see the payoff, the reward for all the mess.
Miss Grimke: You have to involve the mental health professionals.
DGF: Yes, most definitely, they are on the case.
Miss Grimke: And you have to check references. Don't just go with the first contractor who acts like he knows his stuff.
DGF: One must not shirk the due-diligence.
Miss Grimke: Speaking of Larry.
DGF: I will not trash Larry. If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times.
Miss Grimke: Yes m'am. My bad.

Elmwood, Sweet Elmwood

2007-11-18T19:02:00.000-05:00

I swung by 33 Elmwood, Drew's new home, the other day. Wow! It is bigger and more beautiful than in its pictures! It is easily the finest house on Tory Row. Oh envy envy envy! But if anyone deserves to live in a magnificent mansion it is our dear Dr. Faust.

Two Cambridge constable cars sat next the curb in front of the fence in front of the vast lawn in front of her huge house (actually appears to be several buildings that go on forever). No constables in sight. So I walked up the driveway to the front door. After about two days I reached my destination. I rang the doorbell and Drew answered. She was dressed as always in her sharp navy pantsuit and wearing her little pearl earrings. On her feet were slippers, a fluffy baby blue pair that have definitely made a few trips around the coffee table.

"Miss Grimke," she exclaimed, swinging wide the big door and sweeping me in with a hug. "Just the person I need to see today!" Before I had time to apologize for dropping in without notice or for the muddy state of my shoes, she led me into a kitchen the size of Madison Square Garden, sat me down, and placed in front of me a piping hot cuppa Joe.

DGF: "Skim or whole? I also have real cream, of course."
Miss Grimke: Must be nice to have such a big fridge.
DGF: A big fridge? I beg your pardon, I have four bid fridges and two big darn kitchens, plus a little one in our personal space. Actually it's more like a normal size kitchen. We have what's really like an apartment within the house.
Miss Grimke: I guess you need that so you don't get lost.
DGF: Or lose stuff! Lord, why do you think I'm still in slippers? I kicked off my shoes somewhere and darn if I can for the life of me find them.
Miss Grimke: It's not like you have only one pair.
DGF: I am not into shoes. When I find a pair I like I wear them to death. Don't worry I'll manage. But I hate to think what else I can or will lose in this museum. It's like living in a hotel or an institution.
Miss Grimke: You've been institutionalized!
DGF: Definitely. But it's lovely. I keep finding delightful corners and new vistas. Look there: the Japanese maples fill the windows with red.
Miss Grimke: Also you have room for me to move in.
DGF: Now you're pushing it!
Miss Grimke: Be that way. I don't want to live next to Route 2 or whatever that is zooming on the other side of the trees.
DGF: Yes, isn't it funny. In one sense this feels like being in the middle of the country and in another you're right on a major highway.
Miss Grimke: So much to complain about. Too much traffic. Too many rooms. Losing your favorite stuff. Gadabouts dropping in unannounced and tracking in mud.
DGF: It's a hard life, this Harvard Presidenting stuff.

The Really Big Day

2007-10-12T18:32:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it! On the biggest day of her life, when the whole world is clamoring for her company, I actually corner Drew Faust in the powder room. I won't tell you where, but it was one of those fancy places where there are easy chairs covered in bright florals. I found her literally sunk into one. I wasn't going to bother her, but she gave me a big smile and invited me to chat a while. Wouldn't you know it I lit into her right away.
Miss Grimke: You were yanking my chain about what you were going to wear to the picnic. You never wear anything but that suit suit suit. Not that it doesn't look just right on you.
DGF: You got that right. I am not going to wear anything that will give anybody any excuse to talk about what I wear. What a boring subject.
Miss Grimke: Now you've hurt my feelings.
DGF: I am sorry sweetheart but I do not want people talking about my clothes the way they talk about Hillary's, so I make it incredibly boring by wearing the same thing all the time.
Miss Grimke: Pretty smart I guess. I do think the ecclesiastical look suits you. That double-breasted president's gown is so you!
DGF: Isn't it though! But it's not ecclesiastical for heaven's sake!
Miss Grimke: Whatever. That ceremony was very impressive. I found myself tearing up a few times, and I couldn't help note that you were using a hanky from time to time. Were you getting all misty Dr. Faust? Were you? Now be honest!
DGF: It was moving, but it was also damp and windy. My nose was running! Give me a break Miss Grimke!
Miss Grimke: Sorry Drew! I did think that speech of your was, well, I think you kitchen-sinked it.
DGF: Pardon me?
Miss Grimke: You put in everything but the kitchen sink. Global warming, diversity, the past, the future, the I don't know what, I started drifting. Frankly, I think the new president of Northeastern had a much better inaugural speech, even if he does look like Mr. Bean.
DGF: (sigh) I agree. That man's speech made me want to get up and do good. But be fair, Northeastern's mandate is a little easier to get your arms around than Harvard!
Miss Grimke: Point taken. It was good enough. I do wonder though what you said to Larry when you sat in the president's chair. You said something in his ear and laughed. What was that all about?
DGF: About how lucky he is not to have to sit in that torture device.
Miss Grimke: By the way, several people called you a rebellious daughter of the South. What is up with that?
DGF: That's the only way Yankees can process a southern lady with half a brain. She must be rebelling against her mother and her motherland.
Miss Grimke: It do vex them so!
DGF: It sure do! And I aim to keep on at it!

Ice cream sandwiches in Harvard Yard

2007-07-31T09:47:00.000-04:00

I wore my Nike capris and my Gettysburg baseball cap. Drew was not impressed. I tried to explain how hot it was, that I didn't want to wear something I could mess up. She looked cool and fabulous, but I never saw her eat an ice cream sandwich. Even if she is rich as the queen so dry cleaning bills don't matter, she probably doesn't want to have to try to get chocolate cookie out of that nice summer-weight wool. I'm so jealous!

The Big Day!

2007-07-02T11:10:00.001-04:00

Drew has invited us to meet and greet in Harvard Square today! We will be there to find out what she decided to wear!

Talking about books

2007-06-15T12:09:00.000-04:00

We get down to brass tacks at last!

Miss Grimke: I just finished reading that book, Confederates in the Attic. Did you read it?

DGF: I did read it. I had to read it, just to shut people up. Anyone who learned I was interested in the Civil War said, "Oh you have to read...blah blah blah."

Miss Grimke: So? What did you think?

DGF: I think he made a book from going around interviewing Southerners. Anybody can write a good book doing that!

Miss Grimke: Ain't that the truth! Not that he isn't a really good writer!

DGF: Bless his heart, he can write up a storm. I'm sure he knows what he owes all those people he talked to.

Miss Grimke: I thought of you at the part where he meets the couple with Southern wife and the Yankee husband. And the wife says, "My husband's a Northerner--from Boston, the worst kind--and he'll always be one....He wants to tell people how to do things, the same way the North tells the South how to live." Are Bostonians the worst kind of Yankee?

DGF: Yes indeed! But that's what I love about them. They think long and hard and do a lot of research to figure out how things should be done and they have no qualms about telling the rest of the country what's what. I love it! They lead the way. They can be obnoxious, no doubt. But you have to listen to them, and much as I hate to admit it, they can be right a lot of the times.

Miss Grimke: But do you consider Cambridge part of Boston?

DGF: Absolutely not. The people in Cambridge are all darling sweeties.

Living in Yankee Land

2007-06-15T11:49:00.000-04:00

Miss Grimke gets Drew to talk about culture shock.

Miss Grimke: Here's one for you: lunch or dinner? dinner or supper?

DGF: O Lord that takes me back! I remember when I first came up north, to go to that girls' school, I got my feelings hurt so bad, and it was all a misunderstanding! I was embarrassed to death!

Miss Grimke: Oh dear, do tell!

DGF: I was trying to be friendly, about a week after we moved in I said to this girl on the hall I'd been chatting with,"Why don't we go to dinner together?" It was about 11:45 and I knew the dining hall opened around noon. She pulled this long face and said, "Oh I really need to do some reading I've been putting off." I thought that sounded a little strange, but I said okay and went off to eat by myself. Then, here I am standing in line with my green plastic tray and she shows up at the end of the line laughing with a bunch of other girls! I couldn't believe it! She had brushed me off and then didn't have the decency to stay out of the dining room! I tried not to let her see I saw her, but when I sat down all by my lonesome with my food, she came up with her friends and asked to join me! I thought what nerve! When I could stand it no longer I asked her, "What about all that reading you have to do?" And she said, "Oh don't remind me. I'm going to have to skip dinner and eat a peanut butter sandwich to get it all done." She thought I was inviting her to join me for an evening meal. A rather strange thing to do in the middle of the day unless you're asking for a date!

Miss Grimke: Did you ever live it down?

DGF: We got to be pretty good friends so I told her a few weeks later and we all had a good laugh.

Miss Grimke: You have to laugh.

DGF: Ain't that the truth!

Hair Styles

2007-06-14T16:38:00.000-04:00

In this interview we discuss the importance of personal grooming.

Miss Grimke: I love your hair! It looks polished, and easy to care for.

DGF: I know what you are really thinking. That I went at it with the hedge clippers.

Miss Grimke: No no no! I do love it! I wish I could get my hair to do that.

DGF: It drives me crazy. I hate thinking about it. I just get it whacked and move on. Please, let's not talk about hair!

Miss Grimke: Okay, let's talk about something you are interested in. Livestock. You were into livestock as a kid.

DGF: I have the best memories of that! Get me near a barn, the smell of hay and manure are perfume to me.

Miss Grimke: I wondered what that was.

DGF: Oh you evil thing!

Miss Grimke: What was your favorite animal in 4-H?

DGF: I cannot play favorites. I will tell you about my first. It was a sheep named Bambi. I got her as a baby. Have you any idea how cute baby sheep are? Lambs! They look like toy poodles would like to look. But they are stupid, just really really stupid. Some how that makes them even more loveable--like a sorority girl!

Miss Grimke: Now you are being evil.

DGF: I know, I'm sorry. Some of my best friends were sorority girls. I'm just playing on an evil stereotype. It's so easy! I should resist. Help me!

Miss Grimke: What was Bambi like when she grew up?

DGF: She sort of broke my heart. Like all things when they grow up they lose interest in their mommas. She wanted to run off an eat grass and, you know, make love and have babies of her own. Also she got just huge. Big as a ride-on mower! But of course that was the point. That's why I won the blue ribbon. I swear to you I could get enough wool off one sheering of Bambi to outfit the entire Army of Northern Virginia!

Miss Grimke: Now that's some gentlemen who could have used a wardrobe upgrade.

DGF: The poor things.

Office Decor

2007-06-14T16:17:00.000-04:00

A postprandial continuation of our inaugural interview:

Miss Grimke: So Drew, how was dinner?
DGF: Just delicious, thank you. The meat fell right off the bone. The gravy was a little lumpy, though. We need to get to the bottom of that one day. But you wanted to talk about something else. What's on the agenda this time, Miss Grimke?
Miss Grimke: Office decor. What the heck was Larry thinking?
DGF: Oh sweety you will not get me to trash Larry. I will not pile on. I do not pile on. I move on. He's a real gentlemen and did not deserve the trashing he got for speaking his mind in an unguarded moment--and it was only part of his mind! The rest of his mind totally disagrees! On the other hand, I owe him my job, a job I am very excited about. I will not pile on and critcize his knicknacks on top of everything!
Miss Grimke: But the color! Can you believe the color!
DGF: I can believe you are not listening to me sweetheart.
Miss Grimke: Drew, I'm a journalist. I have to probe. How about we talk about your plans for the office. What kind of a feel to you think you'll go for?
DGF: Really, I have to live in the space first, to get an idea of how it feels, what it says to me in terms of what it wants in order to make me feel like it's my space. I also need to think about what I want it to say about me.
Miss Grimke: What do you want it to say about you?
DGF: I want it to say "Duck! She's gonna getcha!"
Miss Grimke: So a guillotine, maybe?
DGF: Yes! Exactly! Or a blunderbuss. I love to say blunderbuss. No, seriously, I want it to say, "She knows what she's doing, trust her!"
Miss Grimke: Do you know what you are doing?
DGF: I have no idea! Don't you love it?

What to wear to work?

2007-06-14T14:35:00.000-04:00

Dr. Faust starts her new job July 1. She took the time to sit down with me and talk about what she plans to wear the first day of work.

Miss Grimke: Drew, do you mind if I call you Drew?
DGF: Not at all dear, just not in front of the students!
Miss Grimke: Thanks, Drew, I'll be sure not to! Now I know you want to wear something that looks serious but not too too severe. Also, July 1 can be very hot in Cambridge, so I'm sure you'll want to wear something that doesn't show sweat.
DGF: Exactly! I have two different outfits in mind, one for a hot day and another for a cooler day. For the hot day I have a pale blue linen dress, very tailored, actually a tiny hound's tooth check, which gives it that men's wear feel. The sleeves are three-quarter, and I wear it with a navy jacket. It's short so it looks modern without being cropped. I have long arms, and no matter how formal the occassion I find myself always pushing my sleeves up. It ruins, absolutely ruins! the fabric, but I can't stop myself. I do think it makes me look like a go-getter though--pushing up my sleeves. Which of course I am!
Miss Grimke: Indeed you are! We all know that now if we didn't before! And I do think it's a dashing look, pushing up the sleeves of a nice jacket. Women can be dashing, can't we?
DGF: Ladies! Ladies! Of course we can be dashing!
Miss Grimke: What if the weather is cooler?
DGF: Well, confidentially, I hope that is the case, because my favorite suit is just perfect. I got it at Marshall's for $99. It's a $300 suit and I just love it.
Miss Grimke: Tell me what it looks like!
DGF: I love it because it has these little bows and darling pleats, which makes it sound way too girly--but it's brown--which offsets the girly perfectly. I just love the way it makes me look like a serious, but fun-loving, woman. I mean lady!
Miss Grimke: I know what you mean! I'd love to see you in any thing. Clothes hang well on you. How do you keep in shape, and will being Harvard president interfere with your fitness routine?
DGF: O lord bless me I do absolutely nothing to stay in shape. It's one of those totally undeserved gifts. I eat what I like and do nothing and gain zero weight. I can't drink too much though, it wrecks me for days.
Miss Grimke: I think it is a totally deserved gift. The good Lord had plans for you and didn't want you to have to waste time on the dang treadmill or on the Pilates rack.
DGF: Bless your heart, what a sweet thing to say! I've got to go now. I need to get a roast in the oven or we won't be eating till 9 o'clock. I'm not that French!
Miss Grimke: Sure, Drew, I'll let you go. Thanks for the interview! I'll check in with you again later.

Calling all Southern Ladies!

2007-06-13T18:46:00.000-04:00

The incoming president of Harvard University is one of us! Elsewhere you can find tributes to her academic work and her actions and statements as head of the World's Greatest University (I swear that gives me goose bumps to say!). Here we will pay tribute to Drew the Southern Lady. We will be dedicated to trivia, froth, friviolity, and interesting tidbits, all mined by me, Miss Grimke, and all Southern Ladies who care to chime in!