August at home

While Drew has some well-deserved down time at a top secret location known only to yours truly, the fan club has been doing some long-needed updates at Elmwood, our part-time club house.

Is it possible to hate valances with a passion? If so, we do. Just because a house is old doesn't mean the windows have to dress up like Victorian ladies. What is the point of valances? What is the point of draperies, other than as back-up fabric for down-at-their heels Southern ladies? Ah, yes, Elmwood needs draperies to mute the noise from Route 2. We are keeping them on that side of the house. But elsewhere! Nudity comes to the windows of Elmwood!

We hope DGF likes.

Les derrierres sont nous!

Ladies are scrutinized, pardon my French, sometimes like slabs of beef. One arrow points to a dainty hand, another to a creamy or chocolately shoulder, another to her haunch. Such was the lot of the young Brazilian lady who happened to ascend some steps in what could have been the gaze of POTUS et M. Sarkozy. It was only after the MSM had had its way with her that we saw her face and learned of her many accomplishments. Does the MSM have the mentality of a 10-year-old boy?

Yes! Just yesterday we were treated to macro close-ups of the butt of a gentleman swimmer whose bathing costume malfunctioned.

Miss Grimke: What is up with this? Don't we have enough crises and misunderstandings and humilations and and and

DGF: I don’t feel I’ve made a decision about how to best engage in this discussion.

Starry-eyed Distractions

Miss Grimke: I'm loving the belted cardigan and the metalic flats. It's a great look. Don't you think?

DGF: Yes, it's a great look. I practically live in it.

Miss Grimke: You do not.

DGF: How do you know?

Miss Grimke: I saw what you wear at Elmwood. Those fluffy blue slippers.

DGF: Oh, right. Ah, that was so long ago.

Miss Grimke: Those were such innocent times.

DGF: Yes, we were all so innocent then.

Miss Grimke: We had no idea what was in store for us.

DGF: Well, we had an inkling. Only an inkling.

Miss Grimke: Did you see Public Enemies?

DGF: I'd watch anything with Johnny Depp in it. I would not have minded more story about Melvin Purvis, that fine southern gentlemen, though.

Miss Grimke: Who do you think will play you in the movie? Meryl Streep?

DGF: She could play me. She could play anyone. She could play John Dillinger. Maybe we should think outside the box, though.

Miss Grimke: Helen Mirren?

DGF: Oo, oo, now I'm getting excited.

Miss Grimke: Who would play Charlie?

DGF: Johnny Depp, of course.

How to wake up lazy skin

Miss Grimke: Richard Bradley is like that fly Obama whacked. Do you want us to swat him for you?

DGF: Who is Richard Bradley?

Miss Grimke: He blah-blahs about how you won't talk to the press about Harvard's going broke and other things.

DGF: Oh that guy. I'll contribute to history's first draft when I'm good and ready. Too much is at stake on too many fronts and too much is still too raw. Nothing is simple enough for sound bites and being second-guessed by people who consider themselves experts on this and that. The potential consequences of distortions are too dire.

Miss Grimke: Okay, whatever. I read in the FT that you should not use moisturizer because it makes your skin lazy.

DGF: Do tell. Well I don't use moisturizer and my skin is already incredibly lazy. It just sits there and sags.

Miss Grimke: I quit using it for about a week and my skin finally woke up and nagged me about neglecting this blog.

DGF: Well whoop de whoop.

Miss Grimke: You're not in a very good mood are you.

DGF: No comment.

The future brightens

You read it here first: DGF has selected a replacement for her executive vice president, Ed Forst, who has resigned. In one of her many strokes of brilliance she has hired Zoe Warren-Washburne, the tough, smart, talented former first officer on Serenity, the legendary salvage ship. She is just what DGF needs, a tactician who has worked with the best and prevailed through many trials by fire. She also shares DGF’s attitude toward fashion—wear whatever works best for the job and then forget about it. As with DGF, the result is exactly correct and eminently flattering.

From Drew’s official press release: “I am extremely pleased that Zoe Warren-Washburne has agreed to come to Harvard and serve as the University’s second executive vice president. She brings deep experience with a large, complex, and universal organization, a proven track record in managing the functions that will be central to her new role, and an outstanding reputation for her effective leadership style.

“We have important work ahead of us, with new challenges unfolding daily, and Zoe’s leadership and experience will help ensure that our administrative capacity can support our academic ambitions at the level of excellence they deserve, despite our need to address urgent and rare issues.” Faust continued.

Warren-Washburne said, "The decision to leave Serenity was extremely difficult. In my many years as First Officer I formed lasting and deep relationships with the captain and crew, but they understand my desire to work in a new environment with new challenges and to spend quality time with my feet planted on the good ship Earth.

“I am ready and eager to serve my new captain: Drew Gilpin Faust.”

As First Officer Warren-Washburne became known for her intense loyalty—which extended to her refusal to steer her boss wrong. She sizes up complex situations rapidly with uncanny accuracy. She is also an accurate shot. Her weapon of choice is her sawed-off rifle, which she wears holstered off her right hip and leg. She's draws on a variety of back up hand guns as well as a pump action shot gun.

Zoe Warren-Washburne has all the qualities we look for in a Southern lady and a person to serve as First Officer to our dear Captain Drew.

The Fan Club is indebted to erdprods on IMDb for details on Warren-Washburne’s career.

The future looks dim

The Drew Gilpin Faust Fan Club has since last November several times taken note of the resemblance POTUS has to our dear DGF. With much discussion recently about his resemblance to Spock, and after a field trip to see the new Star Trek prequel, we labored to see if a character there might resemble DGF, or if perhaps she might be even more Spocklike than POTUS. After all, like Spock, who spurned the Vulcan elite in order to join Starfleet Academy, Drew left behind her native land to achieve great power within an alien culture.

Alas, we could not see much of Dr. Faust in Mr. Spock. In fact, we came away disheartened to see that in the far distant future, despite so many advances in space travel and intergalactic cooperation, civilization has not advanced far enough to enable the invention of pants for women.

Three women are in the movie. One is shown only in the final stage of giving birth. She is of course pantless. One is sexually accommodating the young Kirk. She is pantless and green. Not that there's anything wrong with being green. The third is Uhura. She is wonderful but she exists only for Kirk to pine after and Spock to kiss. It is implied that she is also brilliant and useful. The poor dear, though, along with the other women on the ship, must traipse about pantless.

I asked Drew to weigh in on the issue of what does the future hold for women if we must go pantless. Here is her reply:

"As we attempt to balance yesterday’s dreams with today’s realities and tomorrow’s needs, we must remember that as we struggle with our own wardrobes, we are nonetheless being looked to for future and intergalactic solutions. I believe we in the present are uniquely prepared to answer the future's summons - through the breakthroughs that result from our research, through our concentration of institutions that are anchored here, and through our shared capacity for collaboration and innovation that helps drive sartorial progress.

"We are in an enviable position because our institutions - including UMass, Tufts, Northeastern, Boston University, MIT, and Harvard, together form an enormous engine, an engine that is fueled by curiosity and a mission to stretch the boundaries of new fabrics and their embellishments, an engine that must continue to do so in order to ensure our continue ability to supply pants to women.

"Our colleges and universities are magnets for funding from outside sources, which enables us to spend considerable dollars right here in the Commonwealth, at high-end boutiques, at the fabulous Natick Collection, and at the off-price stores, at TJ Maxx, at Microcenter, and at Trader Joe's.

"One of the most significant things about our research universities is that they are engines that also produce the fuel – the scientists, physicians, and engineers, and their husbands - that buy the new products that will help renew our economy and power the nation’s ability to continue to provide leg-wear for women. Mayor Menino understands this, and his advocacy, along with that of leaders on Beacon Hill, has helped ensure that Boston and Massachusetts will continue to be the world’s leading pants wearers, even during these challenging times and well into the distant future. "

These are encouraging words from a brilliant woman. I take heart! Perhaps the future will continue to be as progressive for women as the present. It's literally the least we can ask.

Honorary degree

The financial services professionals are wondering if we are having a junk rally. DGF and I meanwhile are suffering through a junk spring. We are back into cashmere and corduroy, bundling up to check on the progress of our polygonum in the petit bois. What bright spots can we find in the gardens of our lives, nevermind Wall Street and Main Street?
Miss Grimke: You should be one of those Southerners made honorary Yankees.
DGF: I'm not sure what to think of that.
Miss Grimke: Many honors are double-edged.
DGF: Not those bestowed by the New York Historical Society.
Miss Grimke: Stephen Colbert and Shepard Fairey could be honorary Yankees.
DGF: Who's an honorary Southerner?
Miss Grimke: Mitt Romney off the top of my head.
DGF: Do you think all Republicans who aren't from the South should be honorary Southerners?
Miss Grimke: No of course not. David Souter wouldn't be a Southerner if you locked him in a closet with Dolly Parton and force-fed him grits. Neither would Bill Buckley.
DGF: At least he'd be warm!