Thursday, June 19, 2008

Sidestepping Death

Miss Grimke: I can't read your book before I go to bed. Last night I dreamed my yard was full of corpses. I couldn't walk out the front door without stepping over a dead body.

DGF: You must have lived in Gettysburg in a prior life.

Miss Grimke: Why did you write that book?

DGF: All I ever really want to do is figure things out.

Miss Grimke: That, and run things.

DGF: Well yes.

Miss Grimke: I guess if you could write I can at least read it.

DGF: During the day, by a window where you can hear birds singing and children at play.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Pride Week debrief

Miss Grimke: So what did you wear?
DGF: My gown over my qipoa, as I do whenever I want to look and feel special.
Miss Grimke: Ha. I bet you wore that navy pantsuit.
DGF: If you know all the answers why bother asking me questions?
Miss Grimke: Okay. I'll try some hard questions. Can a southern lady be gay?
DGF: Don't be silly. Of course she can.
Miss Grimke: Can a southern gentleman be gay?
DGF: Ditto.
Miss Grimke: Can a gay gentleman be a southern lady?
DGF: Some of the best southern ladies are gay gentlemen.
Miss Grimke: Can a gay lady be a southern gentleman?
DGF: I believe I have seen a few.
Miss Grimke: Why don't you wear your gown everywhere? It looks the best on you. I'd love to see you wafting back and forth across the Yard in it several times a day.
DGF: That would look pretty dumb.
Miss Grimke: Not really. It would upgrade the whole scene.
DGF: I'm afraid it wouldn't go over well with the powers that be.
Miss Grimke: Aren't you the powers that be?
DGF: You got me there.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Report card for a Southern Lady

The young ladies and gentlemen over at the Crimson graded Drew's freshman year. We don't know much about being president of the World's Greatest University, but we do know a lot about being a Southern Lady. Here is her report card, as graded by those of us who know what's really important.

Fashion: A minus
A lady should look pulled together without drawing undue attention to herself, unless she is Queen of May.

Sometimes it is the person being graded who does the teaching, and that is the case with Drew and Fashion. She gives us little to talk about, and for that we commend her. We would like to see more creativity around piping and lapels, perhaps a subtle tweed from time to time, and we'd love to see a punchy color in the shells she wears under the jackets. But absolutely don't stop with the pearls!

Decorating: B minus
The office says President--what more could we ask for? The Aeron chair, though, is so Route 128. We'd like to see something a little more donnish.

Cooking: C plus
Drew knows her strengths and looks for ways to transcend her weaknesses. Sometimes the middle of the road is exactly where you want to be.

Animal Husbandry: Incomplete
Drew is poised to do some of her best work in this arena.

Gardening: Pass
We congratulate Drew on not making a mess (yet) of converting Elmwood into a dairy farm.

Conclusion: We cannot say that Drew exceeded our expectations for the year, because, really, our expectations could not have been higher. We can say with confidence that she surprised us in many many wonderful ways, and although we have had a few eensy eensy differences, which is not to be unexpected between even the best of friends, in the final analysis we are thrilled thrilled thrilled and can't wait to see what's next!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Sex or Death

What a cruel world! The library called to let me know that my copy of This Republic of Suffering had arrived on the same day that SATC premiered! How can I chose between Drew Faust and Carrie Bradshaw! Between Carrie Bradshaw and Drew Faust?!

I am paralyzed with indecision!

Who do you think Drew is? Is she a Carrie? A Charlotte? A Miranda? Surely not a Samantha LOL! Like most of us, she's probably a mixture. But what proportions? I think maybe 20% Carrie, 40% Miranda, 30% Charlotte and 10% Samantha.