Thursday, June 14, 2007
In this interview we discuss the importance of personal grooming.
Miss Grimke: I love your hair! It looks polished, and easy to care for.
DGF: I know what you are really thinking. That I went at it with the hedge clippers.
Miss Grimke: No no no! I do love it! I wish I could get my hair to do that.
DGF: It drives me crazy. I hate thinking about it. I just get it whacked and move on. Please, let's not talk about hair!
Miss Grimke: Okay, let's talk about something you are interested in. Livestock. You were into livestock as a kid.
DGF: I have the best memories of that! Get me near a barn, the smell of hay and manure are perfume to me.
Miss Grimke: I wondered what that was.
DGF: Oh you evil thing!
Miss Grimke: What was your favorite animal in 4-H?
DGF: I cannot play favorites. I will tell you about my first. It was a sheep named Bambi. I got her as a baby. Have you any idea how cute baby sheep are? Lambs! They look like toy poodles would like to look. But they are stupid, just really really stupid. Some how that makes them even more loveable--like a sorority girl!
Miss Grimke: Now you are being evil.
DGF: I know, I'm sorry. Some of my best friends were sorority girls. I'm just playing on an evil stereotype. It's so easy! I should resist. Help me!
Miss Grimke: What was Bambi like when she grew up?
DGF: She sort of broke my heart. Like all things when they grow up they lose interest in their mommas. She wanted to run off an eat grass and, you know, make love and have babies of her own. Also she got just huge. Big as a ride-on mower! But of course that was the point. That's why I won the blue ribbon. I swear to you I could get enough wool off one sheering of Bambi to outfit the entire Army of Northern Virginia!
Miss Grimke: Now that's some gentlemen who could have used a wardrobe upgrade.
DGF: The poor things.